I’ve decided…

The only people I offend are dumbasses.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you find that offensive? INTERESTING.

Warning to anyone who doesn’t live alone…

Nothing less than a dead bolt on your bedroom door is going to cut it.

My thoughts on legally binding contracts…

Shit.

People I hate right now…

1) People who bike on the wrong side of the road and make me fall of my bike as I swerve to miss them. FYI unless you’re in England you should ALWAYS be on the right. Period.

2) People who don’t return emails. This may come as a shock to you, but I actually contacted you for a reason. A reason made specific in my email that you have obviously not checked a week later.

3) People who walk really slowly side by side by side in front of you so that it is entirely impossible to pass them. I will run you over, I swear!

Oh yeah, and…

4) PEOPLE WHO RENT OUT MY CLOSET TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!! For some reason, that irks me more than a little.

Ugh, you know what?

5) All people.

Life sucks.

-Mara

The good things in life…

It’s quite hard to avoid people all the time (but definitely worth it). However, even I realize that being alone can easily turn into being bored. So what do I do to prevent myself from getting to the point of watching Debra Messing miniseries? I’m glad you asked! Here are a few of my favorite sites: 

XKCD comics

Failblog

The Perry Bible Fellowship

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Boom Goes the Dynamite

Also I watch a LOT of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

So when you attempt a hermit lifestyle (and aren’t reading my wise words), those will give you something to do. I’m always looking for new stuff too, so if you have any suggestions let me know… unless they have to do with puppies of any kind.

-Mara

Shocked and amazed…

This year looks like it’s going to suck even more than the last. I didn’t realize that was possible.