1. Cats- HATE (dogs>>cats any day)

2. Comic Books- LOVE

3. Flannel Pajama Pants- LOVE (wearing them now?)

4. Wooly Christopods- FAKE

5. Mushrooms- HATE (Hello, poison. My name is Mara)

6. Snargle Pipes- FAKE

7. Flaming Lips- LOVE (the band, not the awkward/painful situation)

8. Romantic Comedies- HATEHATEHATE

9. Spicy Tuna Rolls- LOVE (mmm)

10. Hydrogen-Powered Snowboots- FAKE (for now…)

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you find that offensive? INTERESTING.

2) People who don’t return emails. This may come as a shock to you, but I actually contacted you for a reason. A reason made specific in my email that you have obviously not checked a week later.

3) People who walk really slowly side by side by side in front of you so that it is entirely impossible to pass them. I will run you over, I swear!

Oh yeah, and…

4) PEOPLE WHO RENT OUT MY CLOSET TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!! For some reason, that irks me more than a little.

Ugh, you know what?

5) All people.

Life sucks.

-Mara

XKCD comics

Failblog

The Perry Bible Fellowship

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Boom Goes the Dynamite

Also I watch a LOT of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

So when you attempt a hermit lifestyle (and aren’t reading my wise words), those will give you something to do. I’m always looking for new stuff too, so if you have any suggestions let me know… unless they have to do with puppies of any kind.

-Mara

1. Leona Lewis – “Bleeding Love”
2. Coldplay – “Viva La Vida”
3. Flo Rida featuring T-Pain – “Low”
4. Katy Perry – “I Kissed a Girl”
5. Rihanna – “Disturbia”
6. Lil Wayne with Static Major – “Lollipop”
7. Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown – “No Air”
8. Natasha Bedingfield – “Pocketful of Sunshine”
9. Sara Bareilles – “Love Song”
10. Rihanna – “Don’t Stop the Music”

 7 pop songs, 2 hip-hop, and 1 measly alternative represented by Coldplay??? Where’s the Fleet Foxes, or the Ting Tings, or Radiohead? Unfortunately the world’s rise in idiots seems to be directly related to its rise in terrible music. I’m speechless… speechless and depressed.

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull- $ 317,023,851. The temple was a fucking spaceship! Enough said.

2. Mamma Mia!- $143,762,955. Above and beyond the terrible acting, campy dance sequences, and shirtless Colin Firth dancing up on some random guy, the real beauty of this film comes with its premise. Some British chicks just said “Let’s create a formulaic plot around a group of songs by an artist. But not just any artist! ABBA! That’ll be solid gold.” In line with this, I’ve decided to write my own musical based on countless classic A-ha hits… yeah it’ll pretty much just be “Take on Me” sung 12 different ways…

3. You Don’t Mess With the Zohan- $100,018,837. This movie sullies Adam Sandler’s good name. I mean, his most recent films have all been comic masterpieces! I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Click, The Longest Yard, 50 First Dates, Anger Management… Oh who am I kidding? Adam Sandler hasn’t been funny this milennium, which makes Zohan’s success all the more intolorable.

4. Beverly Hills Chihuahua- $92,719,916. This may just be the most perplexing box office win of the year. I can, in theory, understand movies making money that have a built-in fan base of an awesome trilogy, or a tacky musical, or even Adam Sandler. WHAT BUILT IN FAN BASE IS THERE FOR DIGITAL CHIHUAHUAS? World, be ashamed.

5. High School Musical 3: Senior Year- $89,444,242. Speaking of tacky musicals AND trilogies! If you don’t know it already, here is Disney’s formula for a tween hit: Take one wholly trite idea, make it even more trite, repeat, repeat again, and voila! an incredibly lucrative franchise that won’t quit! I feel sad to be a human.